It's me again. Regarding the issue of one's friends coupling off…
I was recently dumped by a friend due to the fact that he feels his emotional attachment to me is distracting him from making a proper go of things with his girlfriend. This is annoying, yes? A “proper go of things”?! So normative! Why does he (and most other normal people) want to have an emotional attachment to only one person at a time?
As I look to Buddhist philosophy to elucidate this situation, the following dilemma arises:
The idea that we should love without attachment vs. the idea that humans all want the same thing: to be free of pain.
It seems to me that my friend is attempting to reduce his suffering by trying to create something (a normative couple relationship) that he hopes will bring him happiness. I may have a different idea about what will make me happy, but in situations like this, no one is right or wrong, we are all just going through life doing the best we can to avoid suffering, right? There seems little point in believing that I have some great insight into his “inferior” (attachment-based) way of loving. In a way, I see Buddhism as inspiring an anti-theoretical position. But I am also wondering whether the idea that all humans want essentially the same thing (to be free of pain) can be reconciled with theoretical perspectives on love, which leads me to the following (sociological?) question:
What common ground is there between striving to love in normative and non-normative ways?
Showing posts with label academics. Show all posts
Showing posts with label academics. Show all posts
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